Quotidiano Irreversível: Culture

- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

- Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

- Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

- While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

- Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

- Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

- Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

- With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

- Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

- Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

- The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and friends".

- Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

- Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

- The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

- Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know. Except for the definition of mercy.

- Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

- When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

- Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

- When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

- TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.

- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

- There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

- Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale.

- Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." -What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."

- Chuck Norris doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.

- When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

- Chuck Norris eats lightning and farts thunder.

- There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

- Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.

- When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.

- Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!

27 Março 2009

Culture _ Pop Culture

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